today (Christmas Day) we found out that my brother in law is expecting his third child. to a normal family, this would be cause for celebration. although this is not unexpected, it is not necessarily a reason to be joyful.
WARNING: this may be hard to follow.
it's really a long story but the short of it is that his girlfriend has lost custody of her other children (2 from a previous relationship) and they were on the verge of losing their son about a year ago because they are not capable of caring for themselves let alone children. we almost took custody of him because DYFS almost placed him into foster care. plus, he has a daughter with his girlfriend's SISTER that is about to be 4 (my goddaughter/niece) whom my mother in law is raising because of the same situation with her mother.
i KNEW this was going to happen. i had such a gut feeling that someone in my husband's family would be expecting another child, but i thought it would be my sister in law (who is NO better than my brother in law). after everything we have been through, with financially and emotionally helping to raise all of our nephews and niece i always said that if we had trouble having our own children i would never speak to them again because they don't appreciate the gift they have.
my mother in law mentioned it in passing as we were about to leave, asking my husband if his grandma mentioned it to him. they have no idea what we are going through because i don't want to be flooded with inquiries and add stress to an already stressful situation. i am just appalled and can't believe how fate keeps jabbing me in the heart like this. we had decided not to do a huge Christmas dinner like we always host because of finances, but to tell you the truth i really didn't want to be around these people because of the situation. i just didn't want to deal with it and possibly ruin the holiday by getting into a debate on how selfish they are.
sorry for the downer on what should be such a wonderful day. i am just beside myself with sadness. honestly, i feel extremely guilty for even feeling resentment toward them. i should be happy that our family is growing, even if it isn't by us.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I don't think you should be happy. Another child is about to be brought into the world by parents who can't/won't take care of children they already have. It makes me bitter and they aren't even my family. Even pre-IF I would have been pissed hearing a story like this.
I am sorry about yet another pg in your family that isn't yours. I hope the soon to be parents of this child grow up and become responsible adults.
Holy cow.. what a drama-rama. I'm sorry.. that has to be so hard to watch..
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry that you had to experience that on Christmas Day! I have a cousin that I feel the same way about. I hate to say this but thankfully she was forced to have her tubes tied or she would have popped out more kids that she can't take care of (she's got 4 all of which have issues from malnutritioin and behavior problems). I just feel sorry for the kids and I want to punch the parents. Some people just don't get it. Anyways, sorry this was so completely understand how you feel!
Post a Comment