Once In A While I Decide To Torture Myself

i always get really obsessed with my latest life craze. before i was engaged i was planning our wedding details...once we married i started dreaming of ways i would decorate a house...and now that we are settled (somewhat into our home), i have become obsessed with everything baby!

i wander into Babies R' Us (its horrible how close i live to one), the baby section at Walmart & Target.

i have everything planned out:

• crib bedding set: Baby Milan Crib Bedding
• furniture set: Jenny Lind Nursery Furniture
• stroller and car seat: Graco Quattro Tour Travel System
• pack n' play: Graco Portable Playard
• playthings: Rainforest Swing, Rainforest Bouncer, Rainforest Jumperoo, Rainforest Playmat
• just found the cutest thing: Custom Engraved Pacifiers

i know what you're thinking..."what's wrong with this lady!"

the truth is, that i am always thinking about how i would like my life to be. planning every detail helps me to be prepared for the unexpected. so just as i have "the nursery" planned out, i had planned out our road to conception. we took some detours along the way:

• we married later than expected because of my unforeseen foot disability that had to be corrected (partially)
• we bought a house sooner than expected because of the market availability (we thought we were going to wait at least another year but were able to secure a mortgage much quicker)
• buying our house delayed my second reconstructive surgery
• we were given the OK to start trying by my foot doc a few months ahead of schedule
• here's the BIG one: diagnosed with PCOS

even though i always knew on some level that we might need help, i guess i was in denial. i have always said that not being able to bear children would be my greatest fear. now i hope that we don't have to put it on hold for years, just to be able to afford modern medicine!