1st RE Appointment

first off: a big boo to my new GYN's office. the nurse midwife i met with is not someone i want to see again. i will probably make appointments with one of the doctors only when i am pregnant, because they are probably very good at their specialty but i guess they are not the type of caregivers that work well outside of their realm.

that said...i have PCOS

if you have read my earlier posts, you know that i have been suspecting this for a very long time. i always knew there was something wrong and i feel ashamed that i was doubting myself last week.

my favorite person this week is Dr. Michael Drews of Reproductive Medical Associates of NJ (RMANJ). he reviewed our "packet" and the tests that were run by the GYN office. those two coupled together gave him enough information to suspect mild PCOS, which he confirmed with his own ultrasound. i have tons of tiny cysts in the "string of pearls" formation on both of my ovaries.

he also stated that we would not be able to conceive on our own because of what the PCOS is doing to my reproductive system (mixed signals regarding ovulation). we will need to be medicated (really me) and may have to do IUI's (intra-uterine insemination) in order to conceive. they are doing more tests throughout my next cycle and will begin medicating me the following cycle with monitoring. Mike also has to do a Semen Analysis, just to be on the safe side and measure for sperm count and motility (making sure his guys can swim).

something else he caught that the GYN office did not: one test came back positive (he is retesting to be sure) and it indicates that i may have a genetic disorder. it's called Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH). according to the doctor this may be passed onto our daughters. apparently the symptoms for CAH often appear as mild PCOS. he did confirm that i polycystic ovaries with the ultrasound so regardless of whether i have CAH that is what we need to deal with in order to conceive a child.

i'm a little numb and had ALOT of information thrown at us so i have taken yesterday and today to sulk. i spent 5 hours in the mall today shopping for a dress for Janet and Wesley's wedding and came home empty handed. i was in a fog the entire time and was really upset because i have lost a considerable amount of weight (i know you will scream because i look so thin already) and it is VERY frustrating to try and find clothes that fit properly and don't make me look anorexic. i don't take that term lightly, especially since people have been using that term to characterize me my entire life. i wish i could help the fact that i appear to be too thin, and so does my husband (for himself as he is very thin as well).

birth control seemed to be the best thing for me: it kept my cysts from getting too large and bursting, it kept me 10-20 pounds heavier at a much healthier weight, it gave me regular periods.

i wish i could do all of those things without having to be on birth control. i wish i was normal.